


Memories

by Aston (AstonT)



Series: Phan fluff [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:44:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7933348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstonT/pseuds/Aston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about those stupid little things." - Amnesia, 5 Seconds of Summer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

Dan's eyes flickered over his surroundings as he went by them - the bus wasn't crowded, and he was thankful for that.

All the memories coming back to him as more and more places went by made him feel as if everyone else was looking in on a personal moment for him.

He'd been on his own for a good few months - close to a year now. But God, if he didn't remember the day it all went to hell like it had just happened.

" _No, Dan, I just...it's nothing, okay?" Phil's voice was shaky, not his normal._

_Dan felt his heart shatter as he realized that there was nothing he could say or do to make his best friend stay. He still didn't know how on earth he'd fucked up._

Dan looked away from the window when the bus stopped. Instead of staying on, he got up and got off the bus. 

Of course, he knew Phil was alright. At least, according to what he'd heard. PJ and Chris both had told him that Phil was alright, that he should work on himself instead of worrying over Phil.

But Dan still watched Phil's videos when he posted. He left comments from time to time, like nothing had ever happened.

But he could see the sadness hiding in familiar blue depths.

It was hidden well. Dan didn't have the strength to hide it at all when he posted videos.

And at the same time, he wished he could just disappear. He hated doing live shows, meeting the fans in town when he ventured out - they always asked if he was okay, and would always bring Phil up.

And damn, if that didn't still hurt.

He had so many good memories with Phil - he'd been there longer than anyone else had, honestly, and now...now he wasn't sure how to deal with all of his mess.

He'd lost his best friend because of something he'd done - something he still wasn't sure about.

* * *

During his next live show, he gave easy smiles, only half of them faked. 

He felt more alive than he had in a while.

Then Phil's name appeared in the chat.

"' _How are you doing, honestly, without Phil?'"_ Dan read out, and his smile turned more fixed. He looked away from the laptop for a moment before he spoke. "I'm fine. Really, I am. Just sort of still wishing I could forget it all,"

That's a lie, and Dan knew it. He still cherished every moment he'd had with Phil.

A few moments later, Phil's name popped up again - only this time it wasn't someone asking about it. It _was_ Phil.

"' _I'm sorry. I hope you're really okay.'"_ Dan read. He was quiet for a moment before he shook his head. Phil always had been too sweet, too caring for his own good.

He didn't say anything in response, just looked down for a moment. Then the doorbell rang.

Dan picked the laptop up and gave a faint smile as he answered a few more questions on the way to get the door.

It was a big place to stay in alone, but he hadn't had the heart to leave.

When he opened the door, he was met with Phil, small smile and a few bags.

"Why are you here?"

Phil shrugged. "I needed time, but.."

Dan nodded, going back to finish his live show.

Once it was over, Dan turned to see Phil standing against his doorframe watching  him with a sad smile.

"How long have you been lying to your fans about being okay?"

Dan shrugged. "That was my first live show in close to a month," he admitted.

Phil nodded, moving to sit on Dan's bed.

* * *

And just like that, they settled into a conversation like old times. 

Dan gave it a few minutes before he wrapped Phil in a hug. "I wanted to forget. I wanted all those memories gone," he said into the raven haired boy's shoulder. "It hurt..."

Phil didn't call him stupid like so many people had. He just understood and set about trying to calm him down again.

* * *

" _I'm glad you two worked it out,"_ PJ's voice sounded over the phone. 

Dan smiled softly. "Me too,"

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to just stick with not cute fluff but....I didn't have it in me. It actually hurt to try to do that, so...I fixed it.


End file.
